Live in Color.
It was gray. Not gloomy, just lacking color. That, I distinctly remember. I was walking down the dirt road in Bali past the other gated villas admiring the beautiful flowers when I stopped to look behind me. Gray. Everything. It was like looking at a black and white television screen. And then I turned back to the flowers - bright, vivid color.
I could hear them calling me, further along up the path. My new friends. I looked forward and saw their smiling faces along with a million shades of green, deep pinks, violets, oranges and reds. The colors more rich than I’ve ever seen. Ahead - my future. Behind me, black and white - my past. Me, stuck in the middle uncertain of where to go.
Then I woke up.
Do you ever remember the moment you woke up? And I’m not talking about from a dream. But in life? The moment you had awareness and clarity like you’d never had before? This dream was it for me.
That moment right before I awoke, I was faced with a decision. Do I go back to what’s comfortable? To what’s known? To what no longer excited me or made me feel fully alive? Or do I step forward in faith. The future that seemed so vibrant and alive was also unknown. Who knew what dangers were lurking around the corner or even how I would get there.
Behind me, my past. Blah. Gray. Boring. Old. No longer serving me. Ahead, my future. Bright. Vivid. Full of hope. Full of color and inspiration.
Often times we think how great it’d be if we could go back to who we were before…… Back to when we were in high school and didn’t have to pay bills. Back to college when a world of infinite possibilities stretched out before us. Back to before the 20 lbs or before kids. Before. Before. Before.
The truth is, we can’t go back. Life has happened to us. Relationships have happened to us. Ups and downs have happened to us and molded us into the people we are today. And as we change, we go through a grieving process. Grieving the life we lived, who we were, who we thought we would be. And that’s okay.
I like to tell my clients, ‘when you know better, you do better.’ Can you look back on past mistakes, the people, the break ups, the expectations of others with forgiveness and gratitude? Can you recognize that at the time, you didn’t know better? It took those people and situations to teach you about your worth, your strength, your tenacity. Can you forgive yourself for your part in the circumstances you faced? Can you recognize what you would do differently now that you do know better?
I am so grateful to be where I am today. And rather than always looking back, I intentionally choose to focus my energy on moving forward into a life of color. To stepping into my dreams - both literally and figuratively.
Where are you looking? What’s getting the most of your time and energy these days? Where do you want to go? How can you let go of the old in order to step into the new?
If you need help seeing the color in life right now or recognizing where to take the first step, I can help.