You may have noticed I’ve been MIA lately. There’s a reason. I didn’t mean to fall in love. Honestly, I didn’t. While many thought it would happen, I knew that wasn’t what this journey was about for me. But you know what they say about making plans…
It was subtle at first. My best guess is it started sometime last fall, probably in Bali. Amazing miracles seem to happen to me in Bali. We simply started hanging out together more and more. The smiles. The laughs. The energy. The tears. The deep conversations. It was intoxicating in the best way. All I wanted was more of it!
I now recognize the feeling of his steady hand supporting me as I walk along a wobbly path. And, I adore his gentle kiss on my skin after I dip in the ocean. He wiped away many tears from my eyes along this journey, and he promises to wipe away many more. I know his voice as surely as I know my own.
Me + God. We are inseparable, the two of us. Our relationship is so beautiful. It’s loving and intimate in a way I never knew was possible.
I’ve spent the last six months delving deep within myself, asking hard questions about my beliefs, my habits, my relationships, my family, my dreams and my goals for the future. Many times (okay, most times) I didn’t like what I uncovered. Healing these parts of my soul has taken a lot of work. God was with me every step of the way, reminding me how beautifully made I am. His faith in me restored my faith in myself.
By showing me the depths of his love, he showed me all I am capable of at my best and at my worst. I’m different now. I’ve changed. Getting out of my element, becoming comfortable with stillness, and learning to be at home in my own skin – these are my new normals.
I’m more me if that’s possible. I see God dwelling within me. I feel him working through me. And, I love myself so much more because of this. My smile. My eyes. My killer curls. My curves. My quirkiness. My passion. My drive. My focus. My doubts and fears. My tears. My awareness. My generosity. My capacity to love.
These past six months have given me two precious gifts – faith a million times the size of a mustard seed and a love that’s deeper than any ocean.
I’m eternally grateful.