Defining Success.
When you were little, what did you dream of being when you grew up? An astronaut? A veterinarian? A chef?
My dreams changed almost daily. One day it was an astronaut. The next, a news anchor, weatherman, or nun. When I entered high school, the calling to be a teacher had settled firmly on my heart. I wanted to educate America’s youth.
Then, my senior class voted me “most likely to succeed” and everything changed. A classmate told me I didn’t deserve that title because teachers aren’t successful. OUCH!
As children, we’re encouraged to dream. Yet, somewhere between adolescence and adulthood the dreaming stops.
That day, when my classmate told me his version of success didn’t look like mine, my dreams died. I put the idea of teaching on a shelf and pulled out a new dream - event planner. My freshman year in college, I wrote a paper stating my dream job was to plan John Travolta’s birthday party. If I worked in Hollywood, hung out with celebrities, and planned lavish parties with million dollar budgets that would be successful, right? Obviously I went through a shallow phase.
No one told me it’s okay to have a different definition of success.
So I chased other people’s versions of success until one day I looked up and didn’t know how I’d gotten where I was - tired and burned out.
That’s when I booked my first trip to Bali and the life I currently live was set in motion. I stopped chasing other people’s dreams and started getting curious about my own.
Where are you chasing someone else’s version of success? Someone else’s version of parenting? Someone else’s version of a relationship?
You get to determine what success looks like for you in those areas. And everything you need to make it happen is inside you.
It all starts with one simple question.
What if…?
What if you left your job and pursued writing full time?
What if you sold everything you owned to travel the world?
What if you stood up for yourself and left a toxic relationship?
What if you bought an RV and took the family on an epic road trip?
What if you cashed out your 401k and retired early?
Allow yourself to get curious. Dig into your sense of wonder and awe.
Below are three exercises that tap into your curiosity. They’ve become an integral part of my daily routine and are intentional actions toward living the life I desire.
If they resonate with you, I encourage you to give them a try.
Visualizations
Take the question “What if….” one step further. Let your imagination run wild.
Picture what you want your life to be like in a year, 5 years, or even 10 years from now. Where do you live? What do you do? How has your home and family life evolved? Most importantly, who have you become?
Picture the best thing you can imagine. Then, imagine something even better. I do this every morning. It’s an exercise you can practice frequently for 3-5 minutes at a time.Gratitude In Advance
Gratitude puts you in a mindset of abundance - for all that was, all that is, and yes - all that will be. Research shows gratitude makes you more optimistic. In turn, optimism makes you happier, improves your health, and has been shown to increase your lifespan by as much as a few years.
Practicing gratitude in advance is where prayer meets manifestation.
Give God thanks—in advance— for what’s coming your way. Believe you are worthy of receiving it. Have faith that provisions have already been made and the thing you most desire is already on its way to you. Get specific.
“Thank you, God, thank you for that unexpected financial gift that helped me pay an outstanding bill. I wanted to worry, but knew you already had it handled. I am so grateful you always have my back.”Do Something
Do one thing a day to move the needle. One thing to get you closer to your dream life. If you take 20 small, turtle steps, great! If you only do ONE thing, also great!
Put action behind your intention and show up for your future self. Show up for that life you dream of living.
Let me give you an example. In my dream world, I wake up without an alarm clock and have slow intentional mornings. For the past two years, at least twice a week I implemented slow, intentional mornings. Instead of rushing through my journaling and meditation, I’d take an hour. Then, I stopped accepting meetings before 9am so I could have ample quiet time five days a week. Most recently, I stopped setting an alarm clock. After a few days, my natural circadian rhythm kicked in and now I wake up between 7:15 - 7:30 completely on my own.
Does my entire life look like my dreams, not yet. It does, however, look like my version of success and not someone else’s. Remember, only you get to define what success looks like for you.
Visualizing my life, practicing gratitude in advance and taking small intentional steps have gotten me closer to where I want to go. And, they can do the same for you.
Ask yourself, “What if….?” Give yourself permission to dream a little dream!
